Like A Boss
by harinezumiko
Summary: Kaiba gets his performance review.  OC, but don't worry, you're not meant to like her!  Got the Lonely Island reference out of the way in the title too so none in the fic, I promise.


**Like A Boss**

It had taken her close to nine months, but she'd finally managed to pin down the elusive CEO. Rachael had been about at her wits' end trying to get the employee performance reviews completed before the annual process started again, and there was just this one form left to do – the trickiest of the lot. She perched with her knees together on the leather chair, having worn a suit with a skirt as most employees found the feminine look less intimidating. Her reddish hair was pulled loosely back into a low ponytail.

Kaiba was sat opposite her in an immaculate white suit, arms and legs crossed defensively she noted, putting quite a distance between him and the desk. She had tried to get him to come to one of the meeting rooms where she'd had non-confrontationally round tables installed especially for the reviews, but Mr. Kaiba insisted on using his own office. Rachael hated these power players sometimes. No, hate was the wrong word, she corrected herself. She simply misunderstood them, and wished to educate them, to bring them into the politically-correct 21st century.

Rachael smiled, making sure it showed in her green eyes too, to try to put the CEO at ease. "Mr. Kaiba, thank you for seeing me today." She kicked off, not mentioning the countless times he'd blown her off so far. "As you know, the aim of this meeting is to share feedback on your performance, and to address any training or development needs you feel you may have. I would like to think we can come to agreement on your objectives for the next year." It was disconcerting how still he sat there, cold blue eyes scanning her, judging – no, evaluating her.

She was about to continue when he finally broke the awkward silence. "How long exactly have you been working here, Ms. Timms?"

"Two years, Mr. Kaiba. Since Kaiba Corporation set up its Human Resources department." She shuffled the forms in front of her, ostensibly to locate the correct one, but mainly to sever the uncomfortably long eye contact.

"I don't recall authorising the creation of such a department." His voice was level, unshakeable.

"I believe it was to handle recruitment issues the company was having. I am told your words to the manager in question were to 'just get it sorted, whatever it takes'."

Kaiba made a note to have a word with that manager later. He didn't need to make a physical note, his memory was perfectly functional, but he enjoyed seeing Rachael's discomfort as his thin fingers tapped at the laptop keys.

"Perhaps we can start with your feedback. Did you ask your immediate colleagues to complete the feedback forms?" She didn't hold out much hope.

"Why would I waste their time on something so trite?" Oh, but he was aggressive, Rachael observed.

"It's a valuable part of the process to have your employees share their thoughts and opinions with you." Not that they'd be completely truthful to him, she was sure. "However, I do have some that others have contributed as part of their own reviews."

"Do tell." Kaiba rolled his chair forward to rest his elbows on the desk, fingers steepled and supporting his chin, a twitch at the corners of his mouth.

The "two positives for every negative" rule of thumb wasn't going to work with this one. Rachael unleashed the tirade. "Some of your employees find you unapproachable and intimidating. Female employees in particular have found it difficult to engage with you. Your absence from the Christmas party did not go unnoticed. Your demands are sometimes felt to be unrealistic. Working conditions have been described as dangerous. Your tendency to disappear to foreign countries on a whim makes scheduling meetings impossible. Your communication style is harsh and can be difficult to understand. Your perceived need for control over product has resulted in some employees feeling unable to develop their own skills. Employees feel unappreciated." She paused for breath. "Would you like me to go on?"

The invective had left Rachael less than enthused about her boss. And yet the young brunette was sitting there, just smiling. No, not smiling, but smirking, nastily. "Sounds like I'm doing my job just as I'm supposed to," he said.

"Could you clarify that, please?" Rachael's pen hovered over her notes.

"I'm not here to be everybody's friend. I'm here to ensure that premium entertainment technology is developed, manufactured and distributed to the highest specifications. I demand a lot of my employees because I believe they're all capable of doing exactly what I ask of them. And if they feel they can do more, I have no time for someone who doesn't fight to get his idea heard. If it's not worth taking a risk for, it's of no interest to me. I pay considerably above the market rate to attract the best and I expect my employees to prove they're worth me keeping them."

Kaiba's unchanging expression gave Rachael chills. It reminded her of the time she'd conducted an appraisal at her prior employer's, and following the bad review, the employee had turned up at the office with a sawed-off shotgun. The scar just beneath her ribs began itching at the memory. Only it wasn't madness behind those blue eyes, but cold, hard obsession, the drive that had made Kaiba a billionaire CEO at sixteen, and kept him there.

"Well, perhaps we can work on changing others' perceptions of you. I brought some information on a training course covering effective listening skills. It might help you develop a more congenial relationship with your employees." She slid the printed email over the desk surface.

"And then I can dress as Santa Claus for the Christmas party while they all sit on my knee and tell me they want a puppy. No way. I've run this company successfully for years, objectionable personality aside, and I don't appreciate some newcomer waltzing in here telling me they can do better by ticking a box on some compliance form. Time's up, Ms. Timms."

"I don't think you understand the legal ramifications if the review process is not followed properly for each individual, Mr. Kaiba." She was only thinking of the discriminatory lawsuits, Rachael told herself. She wasn't trying to lash back.

"Fine. Pass the form over." Kaiba took the papers roughly from Rachael's unsteady hand, scribbling something, and adding his signature. "That should do it." He looked back up at Rachael, challenging her to read the form. "I believe you also need to sign."

Under the "Objectives" section, Kaiba had written: "Focus on efficiencies: waste identified in HR department." The pen shook over the paper as Rachael signed her own apparent dismissal.


End file.
